The Etiquette of Airbnb Sex
With the summer holidays naturally comes summer holiday travels, and you’re no doubt looking for some long weekend getaways to far and medium-flung locales. You’re also no doubt scrolling through pictures of cute Airbnb places with wicker furniture and bleached wood breakfast nooks and wondering ‘can I have sex on that stuff?’
The short answer here is yeah, of course you can. Assuming you paid for the place, go ahead and have sex on all that stuff: just don’t be an asshole about it. So before you meet your host, take the tour of the place and set your bags down, here are some tips and explanations on the basic level of decency you should be exercising.
Your Hosts Know You’re Doing It
Airbnb hosts know that because they’re opening their houses to other people, those people are going to do people things like eat, sleep, evacuate their bowels and even engage in sexual congress. Because of this, they’re fully expecting to be removing bed sheets after your stay using a two-finger pinch while holding them fully at arms length. It’s the only natural way to treat sheets that other people have slept in.
However this doesn’t give you free reign to make a damn mess; treat their bed as you would your own. If you’re the type of person that doesn’t leave stains on their own sheets, extend that etiquette to your host. If you’re some kind of pigpen person who wakes up with their sheets stuck to them, then treat your Airbnb bed like a goddamned throne, you swine.
Strip the Sheets Yourself
It’s a bit of advice that goes overlooked, but even if you’re not making a mess of the sheets, do the decent thing and strip the bed yourself before you check out. This will limit the amount of time and the effort your host will need to clean up after you if they just have to pick up the pile and throw it in the wash. Simple!
Always Bring Your Own Towels
Feels like this tip can be applied to every instance of having sex outside of your own bedroom, but is even more valuable here. Towels can be used for clean up, and can be laid down on the bed to protect your esteemed hosts’ sheets – without having to use theirs and thus depriving you and your partner of a nice fluffy bath towel.
The ideal Airbnb situation will see you and your partner sharing a private home or a detached guesthouse all to yourselves. In most cases however, you’re sharing a house with your hosts and there might only be a wall separating you and them. In such a case, limiting your noise levels is the very least you can do in order to be a polite guest. This also goes for banging headboards and creaking bed springs – mind your decibels!
No Surprise Guests
If you’re in a shared house situation, don’t surprise your host by bringing home a random person, especially if you checked in and paid as a single tenant. This is because if you’re a single guest, they’re not expecting to have to clean up after your random hook up, and most hosts will have to charge you extra to bring someone else into your booking.